Kermie’s Guide to Buying a New Phone - Life with Kermie

Life With Kermie

7 June

Every two years or so my building excitement is mixed with dread. The contract for my mobile phone is up, and I can peruse the ads and the phone companies for the latest and greatest. That’s the excitement.

The dread is knowing that whatever I do, there will be pain. Pain at having to explain to a foreigner that they have mixed up my new plan, that they are double charging me, that I will have to make at least three calls – which means putting up with hours of elevator music – to get it all sorted, etc, etc.

That said, I end up with (usually) the latest phone which does a lot of stuff my old phone didn’t – and most of which I didn’t use anyway - and won’t use on the new one. But hey, new stuff is always exciting.

Now, I’ve been with Telstra ever since mobile phones were invented, starting out with a space age Philips in-car phone because I wasn’t strong enough to carry the bricks available at the time.

That was followed by the Nokia’s which owned the mobile world at the time, a couple of Motorola Flips (the first phone where you could visually communicate) which were terrific and then iPhones cause they were smarter. The i3 was a great phone. The i4 incited me to write a scathing Life with Kermie column about it.

**This was how Telstra told me to hold the i4 to overcome reception problems!**

Then back to a Motorola ‘smart’ phone which was so bad that a very nice lady at Telstra finally sent me a Sony (great phone) to replace it. Then came another Sony. Two years later Sony had left the market and it was time to try Samsung – specifically the S7.

This was another top phone, my only mistake being that the salesman somehow talked me into leasing it so that at the end of two years I didn’t have a phone to give to my Rita who was always happy to have the pass-me-down, and she had to continue with her aging HTC.

**Now so old the company no longer exists**

At that time, and being a converted Samsung fan, I looked at their latest product, the S10. But Telstra wanted way too much for it. After much toing and froing, I came across a deal where I could have the superseded S9+ at the right price. And that also kept me with Telstra who, like it or not have the best reception.

This time I didn’t get caught out on the rental scam so at the end of the two years it was my phone. Now, I’d happily have kept the S9 but my Rita had missed out on her update as a consequence of my foolish actions. Her HTC 1 had been a wonderful phone but was now well over 6 years old and was fading fast. So time to pass the S9 on to her and get me a newbie.

Top of the wish list was a phone with a decent camera as I intend to throw up more video on Truckin With Kermie in the future. Now I have an excellent Sony still camera and also a wonderful (again Sony) video camera which cost a small fortune when I bought them, but the fact is that they won’t allow me to throw stuff up on the TWK Facebook page instantly – and we all know old news is no news. So a phone with a decent camera was top of the wish list.

By now Samsung has gone from the S9 through the S10 and S20 to the S21. Without looking I knew the S21 would be way beyond my budget. Surely Telstra would have a special on the S10+? Nope. OK then, how about the superseded S20? Yes, they had those and they were more expensive than the latest and greatest S21. Go figure?

Telstra wanted around $135 a month for a phone and half decent plan. Even 5Gb of data was $40, equalling $121. That’s a big jump for a bloke used to being on $79 and a pension.

**S21 Ultra - lots of lenses and a nice wide screen**

So I looked around. Optus offered the phone over three years and had more Google bytes for less money – but coverage? Hmmmm.

Then I happened across Woolworths Mobile Phones. I didn’t even know Woolies had them. They do and the Samsung S21+ Ultra was available over three years for $56 monthly. 18Gb of data was $25 which is more than I need. Best of all Woolies uses the Telstra network. Telstra reaches 99.2 % of the population as against Woolies 98.8%. I can live without .4%. Woolies also doesn’t have access to 5G at the moment – which is probably that .4%. I’m not worried about no 5G because it will save me having to wear a tin-foil hat to stop the microwaves entering my brain (Yes, I am joking!)

I could’ve got the S21+ or the plain old S21 considerably cheaper, but suddenly I could afford the best and the Finance Dept. said I could go the extra two bucks a month.

Before I signed with Woolies I rang Telstra through some sense of misplaced loyalty. After all I’ve been with them for some 30 years. I don’t know how they keep any customers!

If you have a decent phone but are sick of Telstra’s charges, Woolies have SIM only plans. You can also check out Aldi who also use the Telstra network and whose SIM plans are even better than the supermarkets.

…..

The new phone arrived a few days later and I excitedly unpacked it. Now I’m confident it will be a good phone but come on Samsung! The S9+ arrived in beautiful packaging, complete with charger, cable, earphones (and a Smartwatch which was a deal going at the time). This new phone had a cable….and that was it! The cable was USB3 at both ends so one has to go buy a new wall charger to connect the bloody thing! Luckily I’d had that S9 so can use that cable and, thanks to IVECO, I also have a wireless charger. Otherwise it would’ve been off to the shops, and I know from experience that JB HiFi ask $30 odd for a plug. For a phone that costs $2,000 that is just bullshit Samsung! Rant over.

Of course the obligatory phone call had to be made as I’d had my number ported from Telstra to Woolies and it wasn’t working. That meant 45 minutes of listening to a crackling rendition of ‘Woolworths – The Fresh Food People’ with (I think) a banjo accompaniment. Turned out that all I had to do was turn the phone off and back on again.

Now, four days later, I think that I’ve managed to resurrect all the apps and other stuff that the Samsung connectivity thingy didn’t copy across. Rita’s also happy with her ‘new’ phone. Now it just has to last three years, which means Rita’s has to last five. Wish us luck.

PS: I know this sounds like a plug for Woolies, but 10% off one shop a month will knock another $15 odd off the monthly phone bill. Time to lift your game Telstra.

Take care of You.